Perlu D&C

Spotting saya masih belum stop walaupun sudah hampir 3 minggu. Eventho I was just spotting, it came out with clots and minor cramping pains. Met my doctor today, was being told masih ada yolk sac itu dan saya telah disuggest untuk buat D&C. I have thought so.

Tunggu je la esok. Nanti saya update lagi ok.

I am still grieveing for the -ve result where I again failed this IVF attempt, lepas tu pula saya diberitahu pula pasal keperluan D&C ni, and the worst part of it all was I went through it on my own without my husband by my side (outstation).

Semalam saya mimpi anak saya panggil saya. "Mama, mama jangan sedih." sayup2 kedengaran suara tapi wajah tak jelas.

Lyla, mama rindu anak mama. Always. I love you. We will meet one day, I promise.

To wait for natural misscarriage

Had appointment with my doctor today. Since hubby is away, I went there with my mum. Mum kept telling me to accept whatever the result is and next step to be taken; means whether to proceed with D&C, take medicine to miscarry or etc. And guess what he advised?

• ".... unless your pregnancy past ten-eleven weeks, it is VERY unlikely that you would need a D&C.
• Just wait 2-3 weeks and it will come out naturally, unless maybe saya tak bleed sampai habis and still ada saki baki baru terpaksa buat D&C.
• Taking medicine does not help to expedite miscarrying.
• Many women choose to D&C, and that is their choice to end things quickly and move on, but they are usually not neccessary.".

Phew. Lega tak payah D&C (at least for now). I cant imagine going for another procedure dalam masa terdekat ni. I'm kinda sick of all this.

The doctor cakap if let say I miscarry during puasa, I can puasa sebab it's not period. He's non-malay btw. Terror dia. To double check, pergi sini.

Waiting for natural misscarriage

The doc said I should wait up to 1-2 more weeks from the day I met him to see if my body does a natural miscarriage before attempting a D&C. Sampai sekarang saya masih belum bleeding and I still have the pregnancy symptom. Mungkin kerana hormon masih belm turun sepenuhnya.

The reason I dont want to do a D&C right away is I'm scared I might get uterine tissue scarring (which I read a lot about online) so I'd rather see if it can come out naturally first. Takpe la tunggu khamis ni and maybe I will proceed to d&c.

For my #1 IVF, lepas doctor advise to stop taking all medicine, I had natural miscarriage after 3 days @ 6 weeks, and started with light spotting, that progressed to light bleeding, then heavy bleeding & clots & cramps, (tak sakit sangat or maybe dah terlampau biasa sakit ;)), had scan @ hospital to confirm loss & that everything had passed.

:(

Belum rezeki saya lagi. Just came back from clinic and doctor confirmed that no hearbeat found and the sac does not grow much.

I can't explain how I actually feel. Tolong jngan ada orang tanya "r u ok?", memang saya rasa nak sepak terajang je orang tu. This few week adalah seperti hari2 yang penuh emosi roller coaster. Sekejap di diatas sekejap dibawah. Siap ada symptom2. Seperti dipermainkan perasaan ini. Astagfirullah.

Of course I am sad because is something that no one can understand if that person doesn't past per the same problem. But I know that I have people who are there to support me. Thank you all.

My husband currently works outstation, my parents are now in UK . I'm alone and I don't know I just think it's ok. I guess I just need to give myself plenty of time and space.

Symptom?

Pengalaman mengambil injection Proluton Depot. Saya dah amik banyak injection, tapi sor far ini la yang paling sakit. Pain and irritation at the injection site mmg agak lama la. Kebas untuk jangkamasa 2 jam.

Side effects I've had is that I am over sensitive about alot of petty details. saya perasan ni sebab lately bila sya tengok movie, drama etc, saya senang sangat mengalirkan air mata. Tengok anak wayang or Pilih Kasih, peserta terkeluar pun saya menangis gila2. Hmmm parah juga tu.

Kalau menangis macam orang ni, mantain cantik ok la jugak kan?

Oh nak update symptoms yang saya alami sekarang. I dont know if it's because of medicine that I take, or it's the symptoms of early pregnancy (amin). Selagi tak nampak heartbeat saya tak berani kata apa2.

1. loya2 pagi tapi tak muntah
2. breasts swell and tenderness; on and off
3. I have to urinate more often.
4. I feel tired.
5. I have headaches; morning and night
6. mood swings; feel angry, sad, or happy for no reason.
7. belly itchy

bersambung...

While waiting

According to an article that I came across yesterday (I googled too much, not so good you know?):

"The gestation sac size in pregnancies resulting from in-vitro fertilization (IVF) and embryo transfer have been compared with those in spontaneous pregnancies. Small-for-dates gestational sac sizes were found in 36% of the IVF pregnancies. This proportion held for both singleton and multiple pregnancies. With increasing gestation beyond 8 weeks the gestation sac volume increasingly approached normal. In contrast to spontaneous conceptions, IVF pregnancies had a low rate of pregnancy loss once fetal heart movements were demonstrated, when the gestation sac size was small-for-dates. Small sac size in an IVF pregnancy may lead to the misdiagnosis of a failed pregnancy."

Source: here

Maknanya:

1. it is common for IVF pregnancies to have small sac sizes, and
2. they do tend to catch up after the 8th week, and
3. the risk of pregnancy loss due solely to a small sac size is greatly decreased once heart activity is visualized.

Saya google hanya looking for success stories of cases with similar situation to me. Ini lag i baguskan dari saya susah hati sementara menunggu next scan.

6 weeks 2 days

Baru balik dari clinic. Doctor said I'm at 6 weeks 2 days. Biar saya start dengan good news dulu.

Did an ultrasound and doctor said there was a yolk sac and a sign of a baby present there. Dan bukan ectopic pregnancy for sure.

Yang agak menakutnya, doctor was a bit worried coz I'm still spotting. And still belum dapat detect heartbeat and the sac size is a bit smaller than it should be. My sac size is 9mm dimana sepatutnya sizenya 15mm. The doctor kata 2 possiblities:

1. sebab beta hcg saya memang start rendah (20, 40, 100, 253), so the development a bit lambat.
2. the embryo ada cromosom problem and later on will misscarriage

Yeah mine looks small and doctor kata just wait and see if it progresses or if I will have an early misscarriage. I think it's pretty standard for doctors to warn that it is possible in the early stages when dates aren't measuring up. Apa2 pun saya harapa sangat ianya kerana yang no. 1.

Will be going back on the 30th July so I'm hoping to see something more. So saya kena ambil injection proluton depot 2-3 hari sekali sampai next appointment and teruskan ambil ubat2 lain.